by Benson Ang

THEY advertised for a tenant to rent a room in their flat. But the elderly couple were really after someone they could treat as their child.

Retiree Teng Jen Ket, 71, and his wife, 58, live in their spacious four-room flat at Bishan Street 11. Their two grown-up children have moved out to form their own families.

They are so lonely that they are willing to welcome a stranger to live with them in their 'empty nest'.

It is their own unique solution to a social concern raised by Mr Lim Boon Heng, Minister in the Prime Minister's Office, in Parliament on Wednesday.

Mr Lim said loneliness and social isolation among the elderly can lead to depression, and eventually suicide.

'To reduce social isolation is indeed a top priority,' he added.

Although the Tengs are healthy and financially sound, their loneliness is almost palpable when this reporter met them two weeks ago in response to their advertisement.

As potential landlords, the Tengs came across as unfussy about the rent they were looking for. Instead, they were eager to chit-chat.

They were so friendly that this reporter could sense their desperation for company.

The advertisement sought one person to rent their air-conditioned common room from $550 to $700 a month. The market rate is about $700.

Their housing agent, Mr Jason Pow, 42, said: 'They only want one person. Not even two girls. They just want somebody to live with them in their house.'

Mr Teng said: 'We aren't trying to earn money. We want a little family.'

The couple sleep in the master bedroom, and one common room is used by their children when they visit.

On 24 Aug, the Tengs agreed to take in Ms Ellisa Yang, 24, an Indonesian Chinese who works as a customer service executive here, for $600 a month, which includes rent and utilities.

She was impressed by the couple's hospitality and moved in on Monday.

She said: 'I feel very moved to live with them. They are so kind and concerned. I've only been in Singapore for a month, but already I feel at home.'

Mr Teng told The New Paper: 'I see MsYang as my daughter. She's so young and we want to treat her well.'

Mrs Teng said: 'She has no family in Singapore and we want a daughter. It's a win-win situation.'

Ms Yang recalled that when she first met the Tengs, they offered her bananas and mooncakes.

Now, they even provide Ms Yang with breakfast. Bread, jam and freshly-made tea are laid out every morning, and she can help herself to them.

Mr Teng said he told Ms Yang, 'If you want anything, tell me. Don't be shy.'

The Tengs are so accommodating that they have agreed to let Ms Yang's mother stay with her at no charge when she visits from Jakarta.

And, like most parents, they had one condition: No boys staying over.

Mrs Teng said: 'Relationships are so hard to predict. What if they get into a fight and one of them pushes the other out of the window?'

It's something a mother would say.

Nothing to do all day

Since retiring as a tailor 25 years ago, Mr Teng said, he has tried to find various ways to 'pass the time'.

Moving from Aljunied to Bishan in 1987, he became an active member of the Residents Committee.

But in 2004, he stopped because he didn't have the energy to continue.

Nowadays, he spends most of the day watching TV shows, chatting with friends at a nearby coffee shop, and 'expressing his feelings'.

His wife made ice kacang and other desserts at a food court in Centrepoint Shopping Centre for over 10 years until she resigned a month ago.

Now she spends most of her time cleaning the house, running errands and cooking. She has even started to cook Ms Yang's share of dinner, in case she is free to eat with them after work.

Mrs Teng said: 'At our age, we have a lot to say and want someone to listen. Now at least there is someone to chat with me.'

The couple's married daughter, Corinne, 27, moved out last December. Their son, Paul, 30, who has been married for two years, moved out last month.

While they miss their children, they also understand their need for space to raise their own families.

In their living room is a big photograph taken at Paul's university graduation ceremony in 2004.

The couple have also placed their children's soft toys, photographs, clothes, CDs, and books in one room.

Mrs Teng said: 'This room is for my children, when they want to come over to stay.'

Hectic schedules

But Paul and Corinne have yet to spend a night in the room since moving out, because of their hectic schedules.

Corinne, a bank sales manager, said: 'We tried to arrange among ourselves to see them.

'I try to have dinner with them at least twice a week. But I work irregular hours, and seven days a week, so sometimes I only see them once.'

Paul, a human resource executive, calls them almost every day after work, and also has dinner with them about three times a week.

He said: 'I know they feel lonely. That's why I call them to chat about their daily routine.'

For Mr Teng, his children's happiness is most important to him.

When they told him they wanted to set up home elsewhere, he did not object, despite feeling a sense of pain and loss.

He said: 'I felt it, but I didn't say it. I think we must follow the times. Young people think differently from us.

'If they have opportunities, we should set them free and let them develop.

'Of course, I would like them to be near to me. But I also don't want to impose on their er ren shi jie (two-person universe).

'This way, when they come to visit me, I know that they are willing and happy to do so. Even though they are married, I still have a place in their lives.'

This article was first published in The New Paper on August 29, 2008.