WHEN her boss grabbed her hand while giving her a lift in his car, alarm bells went off.
But Lauren (not her real name) was too shocked, embarrassed and afraid to do anything about his behaviour at the time.
The manager in her early 30s had joined the medium-sized company three months earlier, in late 2006.
Things were to get worse.
Once, her boss tried to kiss her and she had to push him away.
But he didn't get the message.
Not long after that, he succeeded in forcibly kissing her on the lips.
When she reported the harassment to senior management and the police, the chief executive officer asked her to consider dropping her charges because her boss is a family man.
Recalling how her boss started sexually harassing her, Lauren said: 'The first time he made his move, I was in his car on the way to meet a client. He grabbed my hand. I instinctively pulled away.'
She did not confront her boss, who is in his 40s and married with three children, as she did not want things to get awkward at work.
She also did not tell anyone as she did not want to be seen to be making a fuss. Lauren is among a growing number of sexual harassment victims in Singapore.
In a study on workplace sexual harassment here, released on Wednesday by Aware (Association of Women for Action and Research), more than half of the 500 people surveyed said they had experienced some form of sexual harassment at work.
Aware knows of Lauren's case.
Her boss' inappropriate behaviour in the car was a sign of things to come.
When they were alone in the office, he would often make offensive and sexually suggestive comments.
She said: 'Once, he came over to my desk, put his thumb on the centre knob of my handphone, and said it felt like he was stroking 'something'.'
He would sometimes stare at her chest while talking to her.
The petite woman, who is single, sat directly opposite her boss in a small office, slightly bigger than an HDB bedroom. They shared the office space with three other staff members - two women and a man.
Sometimes, Lauren would catch her boss leering at her.
'He would flirt by winking at me. Such behaviour became a daily affair, until I became desensitised. I ignored him and pretended nothing happened.
'I didn't want to get nasty because I didn't want to create a hostile working environment for myself and everyone.'
She put up with his degrading comments about women.
'He would say things like how many women overseas would often throw themselves at him during his work trips abroad, and how there were just so many to choose from.'
When they travelled together in his car to meet clients, he would try to hold her hand.
So Lauren would sometimes sit with her arms folded, or with her hands under her thighs.
Still, she brushed him off as more of an annoyance than a threat. But late last year, things got a bit out of hand.
They were alone in a lift when her boss suddenly hugged her and tried to kiss her. She pushed him away.
'I was lucky that the lift door opened just in time and I could get out of the situation. I was so embarrassed and humiliated that I pretended nothing happened.'
Her boss also acted as if nothing had happened.
Lauren kept silent about the incident, afraid that her colleagues may gossip or not believe her.
She even continued to have lunch with him alone, so as not to strain the working relationship.
About a month or two later, he made a move on her again as they were walking back to his car after lunch.
This time, he took her hand, swung her towards him, and forcibly kissed her on the lips.
She pushed him away, and he tried again. But she struggled and managed to get away.
'My mind was a blank. I was so overwhelmed and confused,' she said.
'Back at the office, all I could think of was what I should do. Who should I contact? Should I even talk about it?
'I thought, if he could do it to me, he may have done it to other colleagues too.'
She asked a trusted female colleague whether the boss had made advances towards her, and found out that she too had been sexually harassed by him.
That day, the two women made a report to the company's top management and were assured that it would not condone such behaviour.
The next day, Lauren made a police report.
About two weeks later, the CEO met her and asked her to consider dropping the charges.
'He said that my boss had admitted to the indiscretions, but he asked me to reconsider my decision as he was a married man with a family.'
She did not withdraw the report.
The next day, she got an SMS from her boss apologising for the incident.
About a month later, he was suspended and he resigned soon after.
But a few months later, the company rehired him on a freelance basis.
Frustrated, Lauren quit in March this year. She is still unemployed.
'Had I not found out that I wasn't the only victim, I would have gritted my teeth or quit my job without telling anyone what happened,' she said.
'Such an experience is emotionally draining and traumatic. I hope employers can take a stronger stand against offenders so that victims can find the courage to come forward.
'There's nothing to be ashamed of. Silence only perpetuates the problem.'
Victims of sexual harassment can call Aware's helpline at 1800-774-5935
MORE THAN HALF WERE HARASSED
Aware's study of 500 people showed:
54% had experienced some form of sexual harassment at work
