HER head buried in her hands, an elderly woman sat surrounded by 20 other people in a circle.
She sobbed quietly as the others waited patiently for her to compose herself.
Finally, the grandmother in her 60s cleared her throat and managed to start speaking in Hokkien: 'I can't tell my family...'
What she went on to share with this group of total strangers was a story familiar to almost all of them.
She had borrowed $7,000 from loan sharks to pay off her gambling debts. She was hooked on a Chinese card game, losing up to $200 each day to her colleagues.
Now, the Ah Longs were gunning for her, calling her daily and threatening to splash paint on her front door if she did not pay up.
Desperate for help, she turned to a loan-shark victims support group which operates in the same vein as Alcoholics Anonymous.
Started by Christian volunteer group One Hope Centre, members do not have to be Christians to attend.
Since these sessions started in 2005, more than 130 loan-shark victims have taken part. Most stop coming after their problems are solved, but some return to share their tales with newcomers facing similar problems.
Loan-shark harassment cases have been rising in recent years. Last year, the police received 10,221 complaints from people who had been harassed by Ah Longs, up from 8,568 in 2005.
Those who harass or intimidate anyone in connection with loans by an unlicensed moneylender face a maximum fine of $40,000, or up to three years in jail, or both. If property is damaged, the offender can be caned.
The support group used to meet once a week but, three months ago, organisers started a second session.
The Mandarin sessions on Monday nights are conducted in an old office building in Geylang Lorong 16, while the English ones are held at St Andrew's Cathedral on Thursdays.
At these sessions, which often go on for two hours, coping with the loan sharks' harassment is often the hot topic of discussion.
One victim, Angie, recalled how loan sharks splashed paint on her and her neighbours' doors four times in two months.
Now, she is so scared that even the slightest rattle along her corridor would startle her at night, she told the group with a little shiver.
Her neighbours also shun her. 'Some of them look so scared of me; and this auntie, now she doesn't even say 'hi' any more,' she said.
Another victim spoke about returning home to find paint and scribbling outside his flat. 'I panicked and called my wife, telling her not to come home yet. Then I quickly tried to wipe everything away.'
Another gambling addict, Ah Lim, had to send his two children to stay with his relatives for a few weeks after loan sharks came knocking.
Ah Lim, who has been attending the meetings regularly since 2005, bets on soccer matches, 4-D and Toto. 'I could bet $8,000 on a match and blow at least $300 on 4-D and Toto weekly,' he said.
When his debt was at its highest, the taxi driver owed 10 loan sharks over $40,000 in all.
When he could not pay up, the loan sharks marked their sinister 'O$P$' and his unit number on the walls of his block.
They also threatened to harass his neighbours and two schoolgoing children. 'I was so scared,' he recalled. 'I couldn't even think straight about what to do next.'
Many who attend these meetings have also thought of suicide. One regular, Mr Wong, said: 'Everyone here has thought of suicide but, really, it's not the end. You can walk out of it.'
While regulars form the core of these support groups, Reverend Tan Lye Keng, the pastoral counsellor and head of the Mandarin support group, said at least five new people join each session every week.
'The regulars come every week to remind themselves not to fall back into their old ways and to encourage the newcomers,' he said.
That is why they are not called 'recovered', but 'recovering' addicts even though they may have been clean for long periods.
The ages of people attending range from those in their 20s to others in their 60s. There are housewives, cabbies and executives. Some turn up in shorts and slippers, while others attend in their office attire.
Counsellor Dick Lum, who facilitates the English sessions, said 80 per cent of those who attend are problem gamblers. Others have failed in business ventures and resort to borrowing from loan sharks to 'tide over' their situations.
Some are accompanied to the sessions by their spouse, family members or close friends.
A handful are not the gamblers or debtors themselves, but the relatives of those who are.
One woman talked about her husband changing the locks to keep their son away after he returned to gambling and borrowing money.
Several members shared their own experiences on being locked out by loved ones, and advised that the move by the woman's husband would only force her son deeper into gambling.
Mr Lum said: 'As a son, I'll feel like I've been rejected and turned away by my family.'
The group also tries to help its members draw up a repayment plan.
Debtors must attend individual debt management counselling where a counsellor sits down with them, breaking down their income and expenses to work out a monthly repayment amount. 'We get down to the nitty-gritty. If they have to survive on $5, they just have to tighten their belts,' said Mr Lum.
One Hope Centre has its own group of negotiators who call up the loan sharks to ask them to accept repayments in longer instalments.
Mr Lum said the Ah Longs usually hurl vulgarities at the negotiators for a few minutes, but end up talking terms nicely. 'At the end of the day, they just want their money back.'
Ah Lim now pays three loan sharks $100 every month. He drives a 12-hour taxi shift and has stopped gambling for a year.
Whenever he gets the urge to gamble, he calls friends from the group.
'Going to the support group is like taking medicine,' he said. 'When I see my old self in the newcomers, I get reminded not to gamble again.'
Those who wish to contact One Hope Centre can call their hotline on 6547-1011 (9am to 6pm) or e-mail mailto:help@onehopecentre.org
